Howwwwww is it possible that Mr. Jackson David is 6 months old already?!?! It seems like just yesterday I announced that we were expecting. I have been SO lucky to have the smoothest pregnancy, easiest delivery and a God-send of a child (minus this current month-long sleep regression). Many people have said I won't have as good of luck with the second, but hubby and I are hoping to be this lucky a few more times :) Its really a whirlwind of emotions to think back to life before baby. While I was preggo, strangers would always ask "Is this your first?", and I would smile, grin and think to myself "I must have that 'new mother' glow and this 45lb belly clearly looks "all baby" (as rumor has it the 2nd, 3rd, 4th pregnancies do not look as good)", however, looking back, I realize all of those strangers were thinking "Ohhhhh lady, you're absolutely screwed, life as you know it is about to change dramatically". Its amazing the "then and now" moments you have after baby. You always hear "Sleep? Whats that?" and "Oh but don't worry, its all worth it". Well, let me tell you... its a whole different ball game when it happens to you. For the first 4 weeks, I had what they call "baby blues" (and no, it has nothing to do with your sweet babies angelic eyes). It is a hormonal outrage that some women experience postpartum. I remember sitting on the couch, my hair a dishelved mess and bags under my eyes as dark as night, looking at my dog and bawling my eyes out as I thought "Whatttttt have I done?? I will never have another day to sit back, relax, maybe take a nap, go to the mall, or enjoy doing 'nothing'". At my 2 week postpartum check up, I assured my doctor I was suffering PP depression and needed meds. He looked at me with a little smirk on his face, and said "oh no, you're just experiencing baby blues". Um WHAT?! Why didn't anyone tell me about this beforehand?? Here I thought you had this little meatball of a baby, and would stare at it for days thanking your lucky stars and cherishing every moment. All mothers experiences are different of course, so I very well may be the "exception", but it was definitely not puppy dogs and rainbows the first few weeks. I actually look back and wish that I could tell myself what I know now, and to really soak in those moments, as they do go by unbearably fast. But I guess all I can do is to remember this for baby #2.
What I can say is, once those baby blues clear out(which they do), you realize you wouldn't trade a single second of it for the world. You will sit and stare at the most perfect little face, and wonder what on earth you did to deserve such a beautiful blessing. Your friendships surely change, and your marriage is put to the ultimate test (patience patience patience my dear), but its all so so worth it.
So anyway, while I sit here weeping over these most perfect images of my 6 month old meatball, I figured I would share with the world all of my ins and outs and how life is so much better with him in it.
xoxoxo